The Unexpected Gift of Mutuality: Disability Ministry in the Local Church

I was working in the Kelly Library at the University of Toronto when I noticed my phone silently lit up. My cousin Chris, who I planned to see for dinner later that evening, texted around 5:30 pm and said:

I was down. The Toronto Maple Leafs had their season opener against the Montreal Canadiens. While I am not a fan of either team, I knew it would be a fun experience to watch a game in the biggest Canadian hockey market. And I was right, it was an entertaining time. It was even more enjoyable than I anticipated. I knew the tickets wouldn’t be cheap, so the generosity of my cousin to get the tickets to provide this sporting experience was an unexpected gift.

I was in the Kelly Library at the University of Toronto in the first place to do some research in the Henri Nouwen archive collection. One of the first courses I am taking in my doctoral studies is The Pastoral Theology of Henri Nouwen. I made the trip out to Ontario to spend a full day on campus at McMaster to visit a friend from home and spend a few hours with my doctoral supervisor, and then to spend a few days in Toronto researching Nouwen to see how he could help on my journey to understand better what it means for the local church to see it’s task to see each person flourish in their discipleship to Jesus, regardless of their particular limitations, one life at a time.

While in Toronto, through hours of conversation with my supervisor and others and hours of research in the library, some of my thinking began to clarify and coalesce regarding what a ‘disability ministry’ in the local church could look like. While I am sure these thoughts will continue to shift and shape over the next few years, the rest of this article will explore where I am in my philosophy of disability ministry. There are two major sections. First, I will briefly outline the current continuum of approaches to disability ministry I see in the local church. Then I will present what I am currently calling a ministry of mutuality.

1. The Continuum of Approaches to Disability Ministry

One of the main reasons I made a trip to Ontario was to meet and talk with my doctoral supervisor, Dr. Phil Zylla. It was also a delight to meet his wife, Mel. Our time together over a few hours was rich, and our conversation covered several topics related to disability ministry and discipleship in the local church. I am excited to continue learning from and with him and Dr. Francis Pang. Much of what follows reflects my conversations with Phil, Mel, and Francis.

Our Church Doesn’t Need It

The first approach on the continuum of disability ministries in the local church is not to have one. Time does not suffice to address this approach in any detail. However, I hope this option will be abandoned with greater frequency as churches recognize that it is worth the time, money, and energy to minister to persons with disabilities. There is no tenable theological reason why a church would choose not to offer a ministry of some sort to persons with disabilities. If a church leader says, “We do not have a disability ministry here because no one here has noticeable disabilities”, I would like to gently direct them to the ongoing debate of the chicken and the egg. Jesus has asked us to care for the marginalized in our society, so may each church have ears to hear.

Ministry To

Once a church decides to open themselves to the idea of incorporating persons with disabilities into their ministry, the most logical place for a church to start is with the approach of ministering to persons with disabilities. In this approach, the church provides a service or ministry to persons with disabilities. Typically these ministries provide care for the individuals with the help of congregants who have a heart for, interest in, and/or experience with persons with disabilities. This care might happen during a Sunday service so other family members and caregivers can participate in a worship service, or the care may happen at a separate time to offer loved ones and caregivers some respite.

Ministry With

The next option for an approach to a philosophy of ministry for persons with disabilities is to find ways to incorporate them within the local church's ministries. This ministry-with approach grows out of a ministry-to approach when congregants take the time to get to know the persons they are ministering to. It happens when people realize that persons with disabilities (while living with certain limitations) are a gift to the community in which they’ve been divinely placed. And when we assess ourselves, we realize we also have certain limitations. A ministry with approach can take many forms depending on the dynamics of the church and the particular limitations and abilities of the people in your congregation, from: including persons with disabilities on different committees; to having them share a testimony; to placing them on your greeter or hospitality teams; to other duties that need done around the church. Henri Nouwen, while he was serving in the L’Arche Daybreak home in Toronto during the later part of the 20th century, wrote of one particular ministry with experience in his book on pastoral leadership, In the Name of Jesus:

“If my present life is truly a life among handicapped people, why not ask one of them to join me on the journey and to share the ministry with me? After some consultation, the Daybreak community decided to send Bill Van Buren with me. Since my arrival at Daybreak, Bill and I had become good friends. Of all the handicapped people in the house, he was the most able to express himself with words and gestures.” (Nouwen, In the Name of Jesus, p.15-16)

Ministry From

It is perhaps unsurprising that this next approach on the continuum is a natural next step from what came before. Once a church decides to invest in persons with disabilities by ministering to them, they will come to know them as persons. From there, it should become clear over time to the church - if they are paying attention - that these persons can contribute to the church's life. From there, congregations should not take long to realize that persons with disabilities are not projects but genuine people and gifts from God that minister to us. While Nouwen was at L’Arche Daybreak, he developed a beautiful relationship with a man named Adam Arnett. Their friendship lasted for many years before Adam’s death. Nouwen spent much time with Adam during his final days, and he later reflected on his thoughts when he was standing over Adam’s body after he had passed:

"Here is the man who more than anyone connected me with my inner self, my community, and my God. Here is the man I was asked to care for, but who took me into his life and into his heart in such an incredibly deep way. Yes, I had cared for him during my first year at Daybreak and had come to love him so much, but he has been such an invaluable gift to me. Here is my counselor, my teacher, and my guide, who could never say a word to me but taught me more than any book, professor, or spiritual director. Here is Adam, my friend, my beloved friend, the most vulnerable person I have ever known and at the same time the most powerful.” (Nouwen, Adam, p.104)

What Henri Nouwen says of Adam resonates with me and my experience with my oldest son. I have interacted with many great teachers and influencers in my journey as a pastor and theologian (former colleagues, friends, current and former professors, and the writings of many authors). Yet, the most influential teacher in my life has been Benji. He has forced me to ask more questions about God, life, faith, discipleship, the local church, and pastoral ministry than anyone else. Once we get to know persons with disabilities, we realize we can learn much from them.

2. A Ministry of Mutuality

The last major part of my trip to Ontario was a delightful conversation with Sr. Sue Mosteller. Sue served in L’Arche Daybreak for over 40 years. She spent many of those years as the Executive Director at Daybreak while also playing a major leadership role in the ongoing development and expansion of L’Arche communities. I connected with Sue because of her connection to Henri Nouwen. She was a close friend of Nouwen’s during his decade at Daybreak, served as the literary executrix upon his passing, and helped establish the Nouwen Archives I visited. I was excited to hear from her about Henri’s experience at Daybreak and his pastoral theology of persons with disabilities.

Sue graciously took over an hour to talk and share stories with me. She pastorally inquired about my own story and even sent me a follow-up email to exhort me to continue in my doctorate, focusing on this area of disability and discipleship in the local church. Sue passionately discussed her concern that discipleship in the local church has become far too much about the transfer of information and not enough about developing the hearts of Christians into Christlikeness. I discussed with her my sense of the paradigm of approaches to disability ministries. I wondered whether or not this continuum would have fit with Henri’s pastoral theology. Much to my pleasure, she agreed that the continuum was helpful.

She did take it a step further, though. She encouraged me not to see it as merely a continuum but a cycle of mutuality. She clarified that there would always need to be a time when we minister to, minister with, and receive ministry from persons of all abilities. It is a ministry of perpetuating mutuality. In addition to her remarks on missing her dear friend, she lamented Henri’s untimely death and that he could not write what he was experiencing and learning from his time at L’Arche Daybreak. But she was confident that the perpetual mutuality of the to, with, and from continuum would have fit like a glove with his perspective. The following represents my current ideas on what this kind of ministry of mutuality entails:

Capernaum Leadership Experience

The poignancy of Sue’s concept of mutuality in a disability ministry in the local church struck me in light of my recent experience. A few weeks ago, I was invited by Kathy, a friend and a co-labourer (trailblazer, really!) in disability ministries, to come and speak at the Leadership Experience facilitated by Young Life Capernaum. I was asked to speak for 15 minutes on leadership and then take questions for 15 minutes. It was a joy to speak with these leadership students who experience different disabilities/special needs and to answer their questions.

I came with the anticipation of bringing something to them that would be edifying. What I was blown away by was the time of prayer afterward. They each came up and laid their hands on me (one leader laying her head on my shoulder) and prayed for me. One student prayed (I believe prophetically) over my family's health, even though I didn’t tell the class my family was battling illness, which ministered deeply to me. Another student prayed specifically for Benji, and the other two prayed for my future life and ministry. I accepted the invitation from Kathy to participate, expecting to minister to these leaders, but through their prayers, I received the unexpected gift of the ministry of mutuality. It felt like the Lord commissioned me into this area of research and praxis through the prayers of these four leadership students.

May every church be a place where disciples of Jesus experience the richness of discipleship that comes through a ministry of mutuality. Sue Mosteller experienced this for 40 years at L’Arche Daybreak, Henri Nouwen experienced it there for 10 years, and I experienced it for 30 minutes at the Capernaum Leadership Experience. You may not expect it, but to be a part of a ministry of mutuality between persons of all levels of (dis)ability is a gift.